Without Having Read The Book... A Summary!
by Lady Eowyn of Rohan
Summary: This is an *interesting* "summary" of THGTTG, written BEFORE I read the book. Enjoy my interpretations of what it *could* have been about, based on its covers. :)


Disclaimer: I wrote this before having ever read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I had only read the back cover, which has the highly illuminating description, "It's a wildly funny novel about the end of the world and the happy-go-lucky days that follow it… About the worst Thursday that ever happened, and why the Universe is a lot safer if you bring a towel…"  
  
Gee, I really know what's going to happen now.  
  
In any case, this "book report" is a description for another book of the same title written by another Douglas Adams in another world in another time. Now Kelsey and Alexa, just remember that doesn't mean it doesn't exist!!!! It simply means it doesn't exist in this time, in this world.  
  
Anyway.  
  
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was written about five thousand years after Middle-Earth, and two thousand years before the world we know today. Despite the propaganda on the front cover, it was not there "in the beginning." Books like The Red Book of Westmarch were there in the beginning. However, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was certainly there in the beginning of the period of time that began two thousand years ago. Yeah. You following? Oh well.  
  
The book starts with the ending of the world (oh yeah, go back cover). Of course, the world was not really ending, but hey, they were just poor innocent green balls with arms, hands, fingers, and a huge mouth, tongue and teeth, okay? (Thanks front cover.) These poor green balls with arms, hands, fingers, and a huge mouth, tongue and teeth. How about I just call them the GBWAHFAAHMTAT. Uhhh… no. How about just the Poor Green Balls? Goodie.  
  
So anyway, the Poor Green Balls think that the world is ending next Thursday at two o'clock right when they usually take a nap. (Note: they have to remember never to take naps on top of a hill, because they are spheres, and roll right down the hill. This is not a good thing because then they get bruised and their bruises are the color of grapes, so then they get eaten, which is never a terribly pleasant experience.) But I digress. This Thursday is going to be the worst Thursday that ever happened (thanks back cover) because they will miss their nap, which will make them cranky, which will mean that they eat each other, which is, as aforementioned, never a pleasant experience. They'll be too busy evacuating the planet and invading Planet, hmmm, Zarkon. (It doesn't matter if it's called by a different name in the book. It's still called Zarkon in real life.)  
  
And as for the towel: Towels are like magic carpets to the Poor Green Balls. They can fly on them, wheeeee! Plus, when they lie on top of them on top of hills, then they don't slide down. Unless they want to, in which case they go zoooooom down at a hugely accelerated speed and crash at the bottom, where they bump their poor nosies. Except they don't have nosies. Or eyesies. That's a problem. Poor Poor Green Balls.  
  
But they mention that the world doesn't really end because there are happy-go-lucky days that follow it. This is, of course, because they manage to evacuate their planet, the Planet of the Poor Green Balls (they're not terribly intelligent, seeing as they don't have brains), and they make it to Planet Zarkon, which they rename the Planet of all The Towels (see last set of parentheses), because there are towels everywhere (see set of parentheses before last set of parentheses). They have fun on this planet and go zip-zip-zoooooom and crash into each other and break each other's nosies. Except they don't have nosies. Or eyesies. That's a problem. Haven't we gone over this already? Geez, you don't have a very good memory, do you?  
  
In summary: I should probably read the book, shouldn't I?  
  
A/N: I did eventually read the book, and it was great, but nothing like what I wrote. ( So don't flame me, okay? 


End file.
